What I Wish I Would Have Known // Newly Engaged Series
Being a bride is such a whirlwind. You've finally found the man you've been waiting to spend your life with and now it's time for the once in a lifetime proposal, complete with that sparkly bling you've been dreaming of for years. And then finally! The wedding you've been scheming about since you were old enough to understand what a wedding was is becoming a reality! It's time to make all your wildest dreams come true! Until reality sets in.
You want to charge me HOW much to DO WHAT?! I have to meet with this person to talk about WHAT? Food, pictures, schedules, videography, invitations, cake, the list of planning is endless. It doesn't quite look like all those images you pinned on Pinterest.
I love weddings. Duh! I am a wedding photog! But I've been a bride I know the #strugglecanbereal. Which is why I am starting this series. There are a couple things I learned going through the process that I think would be helpful for other brides to know too! Hopefully this can make your experience less stressful and help you focus on what really matters about a wedding day-- having all the ones you love most in one place for one time to celebrate the adventure of a lifetime you are about to embark on-- a marriage.
Tip #1.. LET GO OF EVERY EXPECTATION YOU EVER HAD!
Expectations are the death of me. I remember when I first started dating my now husband and we would fight all. the. time. because I would have these unrealistic expectations in my head that never got met! And rightfully so! And then I would get so upset and appear to be super ungrateful for whatever sweet or other awesome thing my boyfriend was trying to do instead. I think the same can be true for planning your wedding day.
I think it is great to have an idea of what you want so you can guide the process and narrow down the many options you have for all the things wedding related. But I also think it's important to be flexible and realize that your actual day will probably have certain elements that will look a bit different that what you originally pictured. Unfortunately, some of that will be based off budget, because you don't actually realize how quickly everything adds up until you go through the process, but availability an efficiency are other reasons why some things won't pan out the way you envisioned! Here's the best part:
Letting go of expectations has this crazy way of making you oh so grateful for everything you do have and helps you refocus on the meaning of it all. You will notice all the hard work and love so many others around you pour into your wedding day it will just fill your little grateful cup to the brim. And then those flowers, DIY letters, minted invitations, ect. won't matter anymore. Because you'll be so overwhelmed by what you have. If you don't have any expectations then EVERYTHING will over exceed your expectations! That's the great part about it!
I realize this is easier said than done, but I think that even if you can let go of some expectations you may have you will find more joy and contentment in planning your special day. I know it certainly did for me.
I hope to share more practical tips for helping brides plan their special day, but I felt that was a good place to start! Kind of like a golden rule for it all if you will. It is something I had to learn the hard way, but I am so thankful I learned before I went through the wedding planning process.
And what's a wedding post without a picture from my very own wedding day! ;)
Oh wait! Just to build the suspense, I'll post one from my rehearsal dinner because I just remembered a perfect example of not having expectations!
This may seem stupid, but it mattered to me so it matters! For my rehearsal dinner I had visioned a perfect little braid on the front of my head by my sis-in-law who does a fabulous braid, along with my long blonde hair I worked for months to grow down in loose curls. I also had a dainty necklace and some heels picked out to go with the adorable belt that my friend Shan made for this day! BUT-- the day didn't as planned, we got held up in the nail salon, and I had approximately 15 minutes to do something with my natty hair and un-polished face, and get some clothes on so I didn't show up nakey. I mean in sweats. So my sister-in-law did give my a fabulous braid as I was getting my nails done in the salon (talk about a diva!) but I settled for a messy bun, some foundation, and some random jewelry and flip-flops! Could I have held everyone up and ran late to my rehearsal? Well I suppose. But did it really matter that much? No! Because I had learned to control my expectations (ideas with flexibility), instead of getting upset or holding everyone up, I was just grateful for all those women pictured above willing to work their tails off to make my DIY wedding come to life as much as possible, parents who graciously paid for a delicious waterfront seafood dinner, and a sunset of a lifetime! Oh and I got to celebrate a birthday with one of my best friends who was officiating my wedding that same night.
I promise I'll get some wedding photos in here on the next post-- don't go stalking my Facebook now ;)